Nonprofit Fundraising: More Archeology, Less Sales

To build a true partnership with a major donor, a nonprofit leader must go beyond standard prospect research and embrace a curious, archeological approach. Instead of focusing on transactional data, the most critical pieces of information to uncover are a donor’s personal passions, their past history with your organization, and what truly inspires them. This discovery process transforms the conversation from a one-way pitch into a genuine dialogue, building the trust necessary for securing transformational gifts.

More Archeology, Less Sales

Many nonprofit leaders fall into the trap of over-researching a donor before a meeting, which can be off-putting and make a donor feel like they are “under a microscope.” While institutional history, past giving, and connection points are helpful, a great major gift conversation is more like archaeology than sales. You’re not there to pitch a product; you’re there to uncover a person’s passions, values, and vision.

For an initial meeting, the most critical pieces of information are simply their contact details and that they’ve agreed to meet with you. The real work of a major gift officer is to be curious, ask questions, and discover what a donor cares about. It’s far better for a donor to tell you their story than for you to tell them their history back to them. Knowing too much can make a person feel like they’re being stalked, which immediately breaks trust. Be aware of their history—especially if there have been past problems—but allow them to share their reality at their own pace.

The Ask: A Proposal, Not a Transaction

The ask is often the most feared part of the conversation, but it shouldn’t be a surprise. An effective major gift ask is a lot like a marriage proposal: you should have a good sense they will say “yes” before you ask. This confidence comes from having hypothetical conversations well before the actual ask.

Instead of a direct, aggressive ask, a leader can say something like, “If we were able to build this new community center, we would need some people to step up in a big way. While I’m not asking you today, would that be a conversation you’d be open to exploring in the future?” This approach removes pressure, prevents a surprise, and allows the donor to give their blessing to the conversation. While this may slow the process down, it builds a stronger relationship and often leads to larger, more transformative gifts.

From Pitch to Partnership: The Power of Dialogue

To transform a conversation from a one-way pitch to a true dialogue, you must invite the donor into the process. A powerful strategy is to ask for advice. As the old adage goes, “If you want money, ask for advice.” This honors the donor, provides your organization with valuable insight, and deepens their engagement with your mission.

Consider asking open-ended questions like:

• “What do you think of this problem we’re working to solve, and where do you think the solution lies?”
• “When you look at our organization compared to others you support, how are we doing?”
• “If money were no object, what aspect of our work would you want to see grow?”

These types of questions are more than just small talk; they are tools for an emotional connection. They help you uncover what the donor truly cares about, which is far more valuable than a perfect brochure or pitch deck.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

One of the biggest mistakes a nonprofit leader can make is to try to do it all alone. A leader may have to wear multiple hats, but fundraising is a skill that takes practice. Very few people enter the nonprofit world because they are passionate about fundraising. This is why it’s so important to be in a cohort with other fundraisers or have a coach.

Leaders, especially those in small or medium-sized nonprofits, can often have blind spots because they lack a community of peers. Being in a coaching relationship or a cohort provides an outside perspective, helping you gain the clarity and confidence needed for major gift breakthroughs. Ultimately, building a strong fundraising program isn’t just about perfecting a pitch; it’s about getting your mind right, and surrounding yourself with the support needed to succeed.

From Transaction to Transformation

Ready to turn your fundraising efforts into lasting partnerships? Join us at Brady Ware’s Fall 2025 Take Five Nonprofit Leadership Conference. Our keynote speaker, Tom Dauber, will be leading the session on “Major Gift Fundraising with Confidence.” You’ll learn to move beyond transactional asks, embrace the art of dialogue, and cultivate the relationships that lead to transformative gifts. This is more than a workshop; it’s your opportunity to build the skills and confidence necessary to secure the future of your organization. Register today and start your journey toward a more fulfilling and successful fundraising practice.

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